Don't listen to yourself when you're tired

Unless you're telling yourself to rest

“You want to publish a newsletter, right? Make an impact. Earn some money. Right?”

“Yes, I do.”

“Then get your act together. Consistency is key. You have to publish every week if you’re to get anywhere.”

“Shut up! Please shut up. I’m tired. Exhausted even.”

“Don’t be such a wimp. Just sit down, put your hands on the keyboard and start typing. You have to write a post. Publish it. Promote it.”

“I can’t. My brain has turned to mush, gone walkabout.”

“You’re such a failure.”

“I’m not. I’m doing what I can.”

“You’re not doing enough. You’ll never get anywhere if you cop out every time you’re a bit tired.”

“I’m not copping out. I’m not, really, I’m not. Too much going on around me. Exhausted. Can’t think straight.”

Heck, that’s an understatement. A huge one.

But that didn’t stop my self-talk turning ugly.

Whatever was causing my exhaustion didn’t matter. I should be able to take it in my stride and keep going. Other people do. They hustle, so why can’t I?

Sure, I can push past the exhaustion.

Me, towards the end of my first Strong Man Run — 18+ km with obstacles

I have done so most of my life.

Am I really going to go up and through those waterfilled shipping containers? Yep!

One particular instance that stands out in my memory is when I was training for my second Strong Man Run with the help of my personal trainer.

He’d advised against my taking part in my first one, but I had ignored that — it appealed to me, so I was going to do it no matter what and regardless of the fact that I really didn’t have enough time to train for it properly. And I did.

It gave me a taste for it. So I decided to do it again, properly train for it, and complete it in a shorter time.

Towards the end of one of our sessions a couple of weeks before the run, my trainer kept asking “Are you empty?” (drained of energy) and I kept refusing to admit I was.

So up the stairs I went again with a Bulgarian Bag on my shoulders, doing squats, cardio, or whatever. I pushed through and didn’t quit even when wheezing and barely able to turn the pedals on an elliptical machine.

Not until the hour was over.

I gave it my all. And then some.

Did it do me any good?

Yes and no.

It made me feel tremendously good about myself and raised my confidence that I could complete my second Strong Man Run faster than the first.

(I didn’t in the end, I over-trained (ha!) and having busted my knee in the first, I considered taking part after days of rain and with more than double the number of participants, too much of a risk.)

It also taught me that no matter how tired I thought I was, I could draw on reserves I didn’t know I had.

And that’s not the blessing you might think it is.

In fact, it’s a curse.

Drawing on those reserves should be an exception, reserved (ha!) for exceptional circumstances that demand extraordinary application of grit to survive.

But I made it a habit, a bad habit, when I should have heeded the signals my body, and later my brain, were giving me.

One I couldn’t shake until body and brain couldn’t take the beating any more and slammed on the brakes.

It wasn’t pretty.

I am still paying the price.

And I still find it hard to accept how little I am able to take in my stride or do.

My self-talk still pushes me to do more, go further.

But I have learned — the hard way — that anything you do when you’re tired will always be less than optimal. When you’re tired, even if just physically, you can’t think as well as when you’re rested. And that affects your decisions and the results of everything you do.

So now I strive to take care of myself and take the rest I need, do less than I want to and think I should be able to do.

Even if it means that my self-talk will turn nasty. Self-flagellation is an understatement for what goes on then.

Keeping that pushy inner slave driver at bay and being okay with doing less, ironically, is hard work. It takes a lot of energy.

But I have, finally, learned the lesson that it’s the only way to even stand a chance of replenishing that energy and being effective again.

Don’t listen to yourself when you’re tired. Unless you’re telling yourself to rest.