Goals: Love 'm Or Hate 'm, But Set 'm

And — obviously — pursue them

I like to think I don’t set goals.

I didn’t set goals to finish high school, to study at nautical college, to get a job and earn an income, to climb the career ladder, to own my house, to fire my boss and go solo, to go back into employment only to go solo again in entirely different fields, or for anything else I have accomplished.

Same story for personal change.

I didn’t set goals to become a better person or even to become better at any task. As I mentioned before, I’ve never set out to change [as a person].

Bollocks, of course.

Everything I’ve achieved started as goals. And if I had them, I set them.

But it didn’t feel like that.

And I sure as hell didn’t SMART them!

Despite all the money I spent on courses and trainings to become more effective and productive — i.e. to set and achieve goals — I never managed to stick with any of the advocated methods.

Sure, I’d start enthusiastically. (Hello, ADHD gung-ho headlong dive into whatever.)

I’d do the work, set the goals, define milestones, set targets, figure out how to measure progress. And I’d create spreadsheets (when they came into being) and I’d track and evaluate, almost religiously.

For all of, oh what, three weeks probably.

And then it’d all peter out.

Yet, all my life, I’ve achieved everything I put my mind to.

So how?

Decision and determination.

Much like the “lesson” from the Mexican Fisherman anecdote: know what you want and pursue it directly.

I decided what I wanted and worked at it until I got it.

Knowing what you want is what’s crucial.

It’s really funny to me that one of the reasons cited for the importance of setting goals is that they provide clarity and focus.

Sure, when you set a specific goal you have clarity on where you’re headed and you’re more likely to stay focused on achieving it.

But, here’s the thing.

Does setting the goal give you clarity or do you need clarity to set the goal?

Clarity comes first!

You can’t set meaningful goals without clarity on what you want.

As the Mexican Fisherman anecdote teaches, any goals you set without knowing what you really want, are red herrings that take you on wild goose chases.

They can be fun, sure! (And if that’s what you really want, go for it!)

But otherwise, the way to a better and successful life that fulfills you is to figure out what you want. You. Not your parents. Not your teachers. Not your friends. You.

And then pursue it.

Use a specific method for setting and achieving goals. Or don’t.

Every single one I’ve tried ended up working against me. Perhaps because they’re designed by neurotypicals for neurotypicals, and I’m anything but.

So, feel free to ditch any method if it doesn’t work for you.

Try a different one. Experiment. Figure out what helps you to stay on track whether anyone says it’s how you’re supposed to set and achieve goals, or not.

Remember:

all roads lead to Rome.

But be sure to do this:

Set your own goals and pursue them.
It’s the only way to life your own life instead of someone else’s idea for it.

Live long and prosper!

Marjan