I hate it when people go silent on me

Especially when they said they'd give me an update

Recognize this?

“I’ll update you this Friday.”
Friday comes and goes.
No update anywhere to be seen or heard.

“Why haven’t I heard anything?”

That question begs others.

Because when someone stays silent, it feels like they disappear. And people don’t disappear without a good reason.

So my mind starts churning. Slowly at first, then picking up speed until it’s whirling like a tornado.

“What’s going on? Have they forgotten me? What the …? Am I not worth the effort? Were they just too busy? But that’s no excuse! Younger generations are so nonchalant! Are they still around? Did something bad happen?”

Questions, questions, questions.

Of course, nothing of the sort went on at all.

They didn’t forget. They weren’t too busy (even if they thought they were). Younger generations aren’t any more nonchalant than other generations. They are still around and nothing bad happend.

Btw, talk about generational differences is humbug that,
when related to the workplace, mostly serves to keep consultancies in business.

So what did happen?

Nothing happened. That’s what happened.

Doesn’t sound like much of an update, does it?

Wrong.

So wrong.

So wrong, I’ll say it again. Three times even.

Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!

Updates aren't limited to what you did do or what did happen.
They can also be about what you did not (manage to) do or what did not happen (yet).

Believe it or not, “nothing” happening is also something that’s going on.

In fact, “nothing” is what’s going on most of the time.

But that doesn’t make it insignificant!

So, even when nothing happened and an update feels superfluous,
whatever you do, don’t go tacit on me, don’t disappear, don’t stay silent.

Because I don’t know that!

How could I, if you don’t tell me?

Speak! Inform me! Give me the lowdown!

If you said you’d provide an update on Friday and you feel there’s nothing to report, then report that. Tell me on Friday “there’s no news.”

If you said you’d provide me an update on Monday and you didn’t yet get around to what you were going to give an update on, then report that. Tell me on Monday “I didn’t get around to it yet.”

I get it, that feels lame.

Maybe you’re even a little ashamed. Or think it will reflect badly on you. Maybe it does. But that’s no reason to make matters even worse by going incommunicado.

Saying “I didn’t get around to this yet” when you promised an update goes a long way to showing your reliability and trustworthiness despite not yet doing what you set out to do for someone.

That’s essential for all your relationships, business and personal!

You’d be surprised how forgiving people can be if you just keep them in the loop.

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Have you had someone go silent on you?

A friend not responding to a question?
Someone not getting back to you as promised?
Something else?

What if any reason did they share for staying silent?

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